All that remains…contained

by mary lydia, a doing heart with a persnickety 9w1 gut container

I read this story last year about Jack Kornfield part of which said: "..Jack Kornfield describes the bruises his dad's rages left on his mother's arms, and the empty bottles she would conceal around the house in case she needed to defend herself. To escape their arguments, young Jack would flee to a neighbor's yard, stretch out under an apple tree, and gaze at the sky. "It was an early form of detachment, he says, "a way of sensing myself as part of a bigger story than my family story."

Objectively this was likely a healthy option for coping with the abuse he was witnessing in his family. But it also struck me as a particularly 9ish approach... feeling calmed by connecting with a larger container. 

I’ve been marinating on the idea of gut center as a container. It allows us to take up space or melt into it… (9 being uncomfortable with contained boundaries instead becomes diffuse and spread amongst the vast ocean) … It connects us to where we are within the world. Through the body we are aware of our edges. Some more permeable than others. And it is through being called to this awareness of edges that a response is generated. It could be laying under the stars feeling calmed by being part of a vast expanse (9) or it could be stubbornly refusing to be “moved” (also 9). It could be spreading our edges out to take up more space in the room (8) or it could be cutting others off from access to us (also 8).

As Sofie has pointed out in her recent discoveries, 9 is only remaining somewhat permeable because of the vague hope that it can experience being held by something outside of itself. 

The way 9 allows space for the edges of others to coexist, it demands space for itself, too. There’s a heightened awareness of boundaries of self and other and an acknowledgment of the fact that both should be able to exist without encroachment. 9 is triggered when you’re not acknowledging their boundaries like they acknowledge yours.

My own 9 fix experience is like creating a barrier of pillows in a bed I’m sharing. That’s your side, this is mine… as long as you don’t encroach we’re good. I acknowledge your side. But if you haphazardly throw your leg over I’m going to bite you, you inconsiderate prick. Mine are still there, unyielding. You can’t push me where I don’t want to go. Can’t minimize my existence. But recognize that I’m allowing both of ours to exist.

There’s also an awareness and consideration of not encroaching on yours. An expectation of mutual agreement here, just as I demand you stay on your side of the bed, I won’t throw my leg onto it, either. There’s a pain felt when this agreement is violated. I gently placed the pillows here so I feel I’ve made the edges clear. Why would you ignore them when I’ve taken note of where you placed yours? 

We’ve historically thought of 9 as wanting to stay small, but the truth is all gut types desire expansion. All gut types want their edges spread out further and further and even when 9 shrinks into itself through withdrawal it connects to the vast inner landscape of heart and head which expands across multiple galaxies.

GUT CENTER · GUT TYPES · TYPE 9