666 - The Number of The Contrarian
In the realm of GOD, on earth and in the pits of enneahell, regardless of belief system, regardless of which enneagods rule, has always been a type that disputes what’s taught about said type.
A type in whose blood runs contrarianism. A type cursed to be dissatisfied with knowledge presented and ever seeking for a truth that withstands all examination.
This type is enneagod six.
6 is one of the more frequent types in the world, and yet there is no 6 like another. Take in these words, from 6 about 6, and declare - if you are a 6 - that none of them really apply to you. You may add your experience in the comment section.
what it's like to be 6
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what it's like to be 6 👹
“This is 6w5 in a nutshell. Diving in head first, then stuck forever.”
“Duality. Watching you. Must know everything. Never sure. Terrified, scared to death. Everything is fear. Everything is scary. Never comfortable or at home in this world. Feel like an alien, long to be human. Hate injustice, feel rage when I see people who attack vulnerability. Want to bring the wrath of God upon them, make them cower, make them cry out in pain.
Everyone is built in God’s image, and everyone has the devil in them. To ascend to heaven, you have to sink to the depths of hell. If you think you’re an angel, you’re probably evil.”
“It is very hard to describe something if you always oscillate between different and sometimes even conflicting states. My brain is often on steroids and tries constantly to analyse every input from the outside world. To find definitions and precise answers, to leave no room for open interpretation. Things get discussed internally and externally, so that a logical, coherent and (importantly) correct conclusion can be crystallized out. In the meantime, the outside world keeps giving you new information to the existing one. And as a scientist, I just can’t ignore new input. Everything has to be re-evaluated from the beginning to see where to fit in the new puzzle piece. This process keeps going until it becomes too exhausting, and I end up in a ruthless, thoughtless act of rage to break the tension. This outburst is an answer to being unable to find the end of the thread, to find the solution to the question that tortures me. Being unable to find an answer feels like malfunctioning and a threat. The answer to this threat is to completely skip the thinking part and just do something. Not thinking at that moment feels easier and less fear-inducing, so I act mindlessly to escape the situation. This is the other pole to overthinking that was previously described. I wish I could just stop swinging back and forth between those states. I want to wake up and just know something because no matter how long I dig into something, there are always other variables to consider. I often say “I wish I were dumb” because my busy mind takes so much energy for those processes and sometimes it also takes my lust for life. I just wanna feel peace and vibe. I wanna be okay with open ends and questions with no answers.”
“6w7 for me: the only reality is in the mind. I must understand, tear apart, analyze, figure out, reach a rational conclusion that makes sense, feels safe, keeps me from harm. Reality is cold, harsh, cruel, nothing I want to be part of, so I avoid in favor of the magic in my mind. Substitute reality for imagined reasons why others make the choices they do, always wanting to be fair to them, cast them in a good, positive light, never let them wound me with lack of care, they need good motives for me to stay in their orbit. Stay attached, stay loyal to them on the surface while tearing them apart in my mind, finding their weaknesses and fixating on those, while insisting they are good. Complaining but never separating from what frustrates me, must keep one foot in it, else I feel nothing. Emotions drive me to do, avoid, seek, imagine, but then I can’t find them again, because you can’t “think” your way to a feeling.”
“Seeking security in a treacherous world. I can’t run away from reality, I have to face it. Everyone is working against me including myself. Needing information to ease my anxiety, but at the same time doubting and questioning said information which causes more anxiety. Trying to conclude and narrow down everything. Wanting to control information. Can’t stop thinking and doubting everything and everyone. Who’s honest? Who’s genuine? Who’s going to stab me in the back?
Constant shifting between black and white states. I’m on top of the world, I don’t want to be alive anymore, I’m going to punch this guy, I’m going to hide… all of this could happen within the span of half a day.
The only respite I could get from my doubts and questions is my emotional reactions and the intensity in which they take over my mind and body. It’s what leads me to care about the world and do what feels right to me, but also behave impulsively which sometimes causes issues for me and other people.”
“6 maxims
(I’d need to decide what about my experience feels different from a hypothetical me which is a different type. For the most part, I’m prone to the same emotions and experiences anyone else is.)
A sense of inescapable mundanity in the essence of myself and the world. It is hard to escape into something magical.
A sense of identifying with verbalization. Thinking lots of thoughts and being able to express them clearly/correctly is what leads to intelligence.
I don’t consciously identify with “fear/cowardice” much so much as worry. The self-paralysis is mostly subconscious. But considering every path forward, yes.
The needs and well-being of others feel sacred. The needs of others tend to outshine my personal boundaries or ego in terms of importance.
Interpersonal stress & putting my well-being aside for others, feels actively invigorating when I’m aware of it and choosing it. (If I “don’t want to” it’s draining though.)
Rebellion feels actively invigorating when I’m aware of and choosing it. Criticizing others as well.
Accidental versions of any of the above, having a negative outcome I need to improvise to deal with which I didn’t anticipate, feels horrifying and stressful. Thrown off-kilter.
I have the desire to be fun and likable and not be found “off putting” to new people. Primarily I want them to trust me and to tell me lots about themselves, to interest me. I want to be found smart and fun primarily.
Reality is too complex to put in a nutshell. My experience of it varies a lot. I have “temporary crises” or “epiphanies” often, where I worry life is meaningless/meaningful, people are lovely/epressing, etc. For the most part I find existence enjoyable and meaningful and each life equally sacred for existing.
I’m kind of deontological but in practice I analyze everything in terms of relative worth/enjoyment for how I make decisions. My goal is for no one to feel a sense of loss if they don’t have to. I wish it felt as if my personal decisions didn’t affect others as much. I do feel as if there are no “illogical” truths in the world that morality can’t exist, so I’m in favor of connecting with a sense of spiritual unthinkable morality.
Duality kind of applies to me — I can be contrarian and argue both sides in almost every case, if I have to. But others and I see me as pretty consistent in my tone, demeanor, opinions. I am consistent in serving my own success and others’ interests.
Entering the gut-heart place feels relaxing. Acting in terms of duty. But it’s also where stupid decisions and unnecessarily punitive reactivity lies.
I desire warmth deeply. A family to return home to with a sparkly world out there to enter. Board game nights, cooking together, community gardens. When I’m doing things “for others” (with a family in the background) I hesitate much less, life feels far more meaningful.
Others tend to perceive me as more focused on negativity and prone to worry than necessary. I can be prone to cutting things apart just to prove the blade is sharp. But primarily I’m seen as warm and kind.
I must keep working faster before I die and lose the chance. The fact that I will have an inheritance dependent on how hard I worked and how good my decisions were, which will affect the well-being of my loved ones, feels symbolic of what I feel like I have to work on during my life.
The world feels pretty modular and consequential. I feel as if I can determine what is likely to happen by looking at my own preferences and tendencies, and am surprised when others haven’t done the same/are more willing to go with the flow.
My brain boots up in the morning and if I feed it, won’t shut off for a long time until I stop giving it questions. It does feel like an addiction.”
“I spent the whole day trying to summarise the experience in one short paragraph.
I understood this task as a puzzle, like everything in my life. Everything, every feeling, and everyone is a puzzle that must be classified in an order that makes me easily recognize patterns and be safe about how to deal and respond to their actions, so I can avoid being misinterpreted. I fear being misunderstood by others as a bad person. The more predictable things are, the safer I feel, things must be in order and under control. So I always have to remember that I shouldn’t worry about things I can’t control. This helps me navigate through life with at least a little bit of a feeling of safety and calm. As my head is always trying to figure things out, I’m almost always overwhelmed. To chill a little, I have to force myself into doing things involving doing something to feel something - listen to music, draw, binge watching movies... but as you can see, all of them involve thinking about things in some level, so I have to watch myself to be present - otherwise I will make playlists, categorize... think about how to turn a movie into an article for publishing, the list goes on. I tend to refine things forever, this is the 5th time I edit this paragraph, I’ll have to force myself to stop at some point, because this was supposed to be short. ”
“I thought about what I might say all day, on and off. It was a fun day—they almost all are—and I had other stuff to do that felt more important than expressing my self-examination. The self-examination starts when my brain claws its way out of sleep in the morning and continues until it tucks itself into the dream world, hoping to bring back more and more and more data to be analyzed and integrated with the ever expanding catalog of experiences. I considered sixyness on and off all day, or more accurately, I found myself spinning in the eddies of sixyness on and off as I floated in the thought stream, my consciousness a leaf, on the surface batted about by the playful currents. The assignment was what does it mean to be a 6. This is a sacred assignment. Meaning is what the universe is built out of. Revisiting the question, I don’t even know what it is asking.
That is what it means to be a 6.”
